My Anchor Holds Within The Veil: Bipolar Disorder and God’s Providence is a helpful book for anyone interested in caring for, loving, or supporting a person with a mental health disorder. In the book Micah Yarborough details his experience with Bipolar Disorder. His wife Bobbi Jo Yarborough, a psychologist, co-wrote the book with him and offers insightful perspectives on his symptoms, the impact his disorder has on their marriage, and the challenges helpers face in serving Micah. The book has ten strengths that make it an excellent resource.
1. A Window Into What It Is like To Have A Mental Health Disorder
One of the book’s greatest strengths is the first-hand insight it provides as Micah describes his increasingly awful struggle with Bipolar Disorder. He transparently shares his struggles with mental clarity and confesses several embarrassing behaviors it produces. His well-written account of his personal experience of bipolar enables the reader to begin to imagine what it is like to bear the tragic burden of mental illness. As mentioned, Micah’s account is interspersed with commentary from his wife Bobbi Jo. Their clear and casual writing “voice” invites a sense that the reader is having a conversation with them. For example, she writes, “I am a psychologist so you might be wondering how I failed to recognize what was happening with my husband” (p. 44) and then she explains,
“Here I was studying mental illness but I couldn’t see it right in front of me. I can only say that as a bystander or observer experiencing this illness for the first time, when mania arrived on the heels of depression, as it is often wont to do, I did not see it coming.” (p.45)
Micah’s remembrances are misshaped by his bipolar-distorted mental state. At these points they are respectfully corrected and clarified by Bobbi Jo’s perceptions. Like two eyes providing a three dimensional perspective, the couple helps the reader gain appreciation for the magnitude of the mental, relational, vocational, and spiritual devastation caused by his disorder.
2. An Informative Review of Mental Illness Symptoms
In the second section of the book Micah lists and describes his Bipolar Disorder symptoms by reviewing those found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (American Psychiatric Association, 2013 (DSM-5)). This part of the book is instructional for those untrained or uneducated in the symptoms for Bipolar. The information can powerfully assist those who serve, love, support, or care for a person with a mental health struggle. When care-givers and supporters understand symptoms they are better able to determine what may be an issue of character or personal responsibility and what is an issue generated by the illness.
3. A Helpful Set of Mental Health Management Skills
After giving the reader a sense of what it is to have Bipolar and then reviewing the symptoms, Micah provides mental health management steps that serve him well. He lists each boundary, personal discipline, help from others, and the sacrifice he makes to strive for mental health. These “strategies for managing” his mental health are broken down between strategies to manage his mania and strategies to manage his depression. His guidance is clear, compelling, and encourages people to see their need for God’s power to find stability and peace.
4. A Biblical Theodicy
A fourth benefit of the book is Micah’s defense of the goodness of God despite the illness he suffers. He offers this defense in his chapter titled, “A Gift From God”. In this chapter he argues that his disorder is “a God-given blessing” (p. 113) for God’s “process of perfecting” (p.114) him . This suggestion, that God is pleased to allow horrific tragedies and awful illnesses, like Micah’s mental health disorder, for his purposes in making us like Christ is a big pill to swallow for any sin-sick person. And yet Micah is successful because he humbly details his testimony of God’s salvific work including his confession that he is “a selfish, stubborn sinner” (p. 114). He states that, “God in his goodness and wisdom, however gave me an illness that broke me down, stripped me of my pride, dignity, mental abilities, relationships, social gifts, and repeatedly took my sanity.” (p. 115) Nebuchadnezer’s account and testimony in Daniel 4:28-37 comes to mind as Micah assesses God’s work in his life. He proposes that, as with that Babylonian king, God was pleased to give him faith after first humbling him with illness. He then credits God for physically rescuing him through loved ones, professional care, medication, and Micah’s mental health management efforts. Micah’s defense is an excellent example for anyone. He declares that God is good, evil and sickness (like his) are bad, but that God at times uses what is bad for his good purposes. God frequently glorifies himself and makes us like his Son using evil, persecution and awful medical and mental health challenges. Micah’s defense of God is in harmony with Job who, stripped of family, wealth, and health, stated, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him” (Job 13:15, ESV). Micah finds peace in God’s providence holding that, “My health rests in God’s hands. If I am sick, he is in control. Either way, he is always good”(p. 118). He soberly summarizes his perspective this way, “While I see this illness as a blessing, it has been a miserable one” (p. 118-119).
5. A Theological Argument Against Suicide
Along with these strengths of the book, Micah provides an argument against suicide. As noted his story includes a painful-to-read slip into regular episodes of insanity. He states plainly how awful these times are for him. He provides examples of the pain of being stripped of important relationships, the sadness of being unable to work, the financial ruin of irresponsible spending while mentally confused, and the humiliation of repeated instances of embarrassing and irresponsible behaviors. At points his disorder led him to consider suicide. For this reason he dedicates a chapter to helping others similarly tempted. His argument is that since God exists and that has created us our lives are not our own to take. He states,
“it is not my life. It does not belong to me. God gives me the very breath I take, moment to moment. None of the loneliness, pain, or suffering, nor any of the justifications for escaping them, have any bearing on taking my life, simply because it is not my life to take” (p. 127).
6. Encouragement For Those Hoping To Help
Micah and his wife Bobbi Jo provide strong encouragement for those who offer to help those with mental health challenges. Their book makes plain that Micah was and is at times demanding, inconsiderate, frustrating, irresponsible, unsafe, and unkind. They testify that when he manages his disorder he is a very different person. Their account makes it plain that there is great difficulty in loving and serving a person with a mental health illness.Their book offers encouragement to spouses, family members and employers in the difficult role of loving and serving their loved ones and employees.
Encouragement For Spouses and Family Members
The Yarborough’s book paints a particularly daunting picture of how challenging mental illness can be on family relationships. Micah does not provide information on how his mental health impacts his relationship with his parents or siblings, but the reader is told the enormous danger it posed to his marriage. His wife Bobbi Jo confesses that when she did not understand bipolar disorder she, “attributed Micah’s failings and limitations to his character and stubborn unwillingness to change” and the disorder, “powerfully shaped the way (she) thought about him for the next several years” (p. 122). Yet, theirs is a story of God’s great kindness for in time God led Micah to a degree of stability in his mental health and he was able to apologize for the ways he had let her down. In the book he comments that in his worst of manic moments she is now able to restrain his potentially harmful decisions, such as talking him out of excessive body tattooing, discouraging inappropriate work behavior, and assisting him to discern what thoughts are psychotic delusions. In a 2018 interview discussing the book Micah said, “I wanted this book to show how faithfully Bobbi Jo loved me for so many years when I was so hard to love. I want that picture of sacrificial love to be an encouragement to other couples and families” (https://transformnedblog.westernseminary.edu/tag/micah-yarborough/).
Encouragement For Employers
Micah and Bobbi Jo also give an example how continued employment can be possible in special situations with particularly gracious and patient employers. On pages 51 and 52 Micah writes of how blessed he has been to have a boss who “took time to talk with him about the problems he was having and how they were affecting” his work team. The person held him accountable for failures of concentration and disorganized thinking but came up with “reasonable accommodations” so he could continue working. Admittedly not every employer may be able to suffer Bipolar behavior as extreme as Micah’s but the book encourages employers to consider it when possible.
7. A Strong Endorsement For Competent Professional Mental Health Care
Micah and Bobbi Jo’s book includes statements celebrating the way God uses psychiatric care and counseling to help those with mental health disorders.
Endorsement of Psychiatric Care
In the book Micah relates how the two psychiatrists who have treated him have had a huge positive impact on his mental health. He transparently describes his great hesitancy to start his relationship with his first psychiatrist and how grateful he became with both of their competent care of him. Bobbi Jo similarly states that his first psychiatrist was a great example for her. She writes, “I learned so much by watching her interact with my husband. She was never alarmed, I assume because in her many years of practice she’d seen it all. She was always steady. She always spoke directly to Micah. She took time to educate him about his choices. She always asked him how he felt about the decisions they were making, and he always had a say” (p. 50).
Endorsement of Counseling
The Yarboroughs’ book encourages readers to see that counseling is often a great help to those with mental illness. Micah states that his “paranoia and pride were barriers” to accessing counseling but that “counseling with a well-trained psychologist or therapist, can be very beneficial in getting and staying well” agreeing with his wife, “that it could have been helpful during our difficult years” (p. 112).
8. A Compelling Argument For Psychotropic Medications
Micah and Bobbi Jo offer incredibly important insight into the world of psychotropic medicine. Micah addresses the fact that, “some people, in particular some Christians, have differing perspectives on the use of psychiatric medications, ranging from the view they are generally good and necessary to feeling that medications are actually wrong for Christians to take” (p. 107). He does not, “address or discuss these diverse views” but he does respectfully explain why he takes psychiatric medications and, “why for him it would be wrong” (p. 108) for him to not take them . He states that,
“God has shown me that these medications allow me to use the gifts he has given me and to faithfully fulfill the responsibilities he has entrusted me with. Choosing to forgo them would be tantamount to choosing to fail in my duties as a husband, father, worker, church member, or friend” (p.111).
Bobbi Jo teaches that these medications have a powerful impact on a person and that as a, “first-year doctoral student with hardly any training about psychotropic medications” she “felt alone and terrified” as they navigated adjusting medications which at times rendered his personality almost completely unlike the person she married. They testify that,
“Finding the right treatment takes time; people react differently to medications, they metabolize them differently, and side effects that are unbearable for one person may not affect the next person. Benefits of the medications used to treat serious mental illnesses come at a tremendous cost to the person taking them, and it can take time for a person to decide if they are willing to tolerate the side effects or if they need to try another medication or dose” (pages 49-50).
9. A Celebration of the Saving Grace of God
One of the most enjoyable aspects of the Yarboroughs’ book is the way they portray God’s salvific work in Micah’s life. His account records how God used loving parents, a Young Life ministry, a Christian college baseball coach, and finally the selfless and gracious manner of his wife to give him faith. Considering her incredible display of mother and spouse love he says highlighted his own selfish manner and reluctance to honor God. He writes that he was in an episode of mania but aware of his selfishness and that, “He broke me in that episode of madness. My mind had been broken before but not my heart, spirit, pride, rebelliousness, and selfishness. He crushed those things in me and I felt exposed and helpless” (p. 78). His gratefulness for God’s love is expressed when he states, “I was failing, but he is a loving father who delights in reconciling and restoring relationships and making things new” (p. 79).
10. An Example of Personal Responsibility
Micah’s disciplined efforts to manage his mental health disorder is a helpful example for others. His focus is driven by his recognition of the dangers of an unstable mental health. In the face of those concerns his sacrifices to maintain his health are inspiring. He writes, “Wisdom tells me to be diligent in taking my medications, to be disciplined in caring for my mind and body and to earnestly and regularly practice the daily disciplines to grow in Christ and love for God” (p. 111).
I strongly recommend this book and think it should be read by everyone who knows a person with Bipolar Disorder. The understanding and encouragement it might provide and/or inspire is incalculable. I currently serve as a mental health support group leader and give the book to every participant. Every participant who has read it has told me they think the book accurately depicts Bipolar and has found it helpful. If I could I would provide a copy to every one of their family members, friends, primary care providers, church leaders, and work-place colleagues and supervisors.
David Baum 